CG's Slayers Fairy Tale Theater: The Comrades
by Rocky and CG
Summary: Another installment of my friend CG's fairytale series starring Luna Inverse! First let me get done with the warnings, there are yuri references, sex references and a beheading. G/L, Z/A


An Extra Fun-Sized Slayers Fairy Tale  
  
  
  
C.G.: Oh, Xellos?  
  
Xellos: Yes?  
  
C.G.: Could you turn into your Mazoku form for me?  
  
Xellos: Why?  
  
C.G.: Just do it.  
  
Xellos: Why?  
  
C.G.: Sore wa.  
  
Xellos: FINE!!! Just don't use my line! ::transforms:: Happy?  
  
C.G.: Gee, thanks Xellos. ::drops fairy tale book on his head:: I needed a podium.  
  
Xellos: ::growl:: I am a very powerful Mazoku and will not allow you to use me as a podium!  
  
C.G.: So what? You'll never be in my fairy tales so I found another use for you. It's not my fault you have such a stupid, non-scary-looking cone of a Mazoku form.  
  
Xellos: It is not stupid looking! It's just different!  
  
C.G.: You look like an artifact from an excavation site. You belong in a museum, not a battlefield.  
  
Xellos: I do NOT look like pottery! My cone form is nice and sharp.  
  
C.G.: And decorated.  
  
Xellos: ::growl:: It's not as bad as the chicken's.  
  
C.G.: Now that is true. It is not as bad as the chicken's. And yours is more useful. Now hold still.  
  
Xellos: I AM NOT A PODIUM!!!!!  
  
C.G.: Do you want to start or not?  
  
Xellos: Oh, you don't own anything. ::growls:: Once upon a time.  
  
C.G.: There was a knight who served bravely in the wars for a powerful kingdom. After the war, the knight goes to the castle to claim the money for serving and only after leaving the kingdom realized that the coins were copper and not gold like it was promised.  
  
Luna: What the hell? I could have made more money being a waitress for the same amount of time. This is mean treatment!  
  
Xellos: I can see this is a "Don't mess with the Waitress from Hell" story.  
  
Luna: Now I should get what I deserve and more!  
  
Xellos: Yep, that's Lina's big sister.  
  
Luna: I know I can't do it alone. If only I can get mercenaries together to help me.  
  
Xellos: Are you sure, Luna? You have all this magic. Oh, I see. You took away their powers, didn't you? So there are no magic users here.  
  
C.G.: Unless I say so.  
  
Luna: I must start searching. What the hell, I'll start by asking Lina.  
  
C.G.: And so, Luna travels all the way home because surly her little sister would help her.  
  
Xellos: Piss in her pants first then help.  
  
C.G.: Luna finds her sister sitting on top of their house looking scared to death.  
  
Xellos: HEY LINA, GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!!!  
  
Luna: Lina, for crying-out-loud! What are you doing, Lina?  
  
Lina: ::cries:: I see a slug two miles from here. I know it's coming after me. Squash it!  
  
Luna: *I could use such a talent for my revenge* Lina, get down here! It's a stupid slug and it's miles away! It's not coming for you!  
  
Xellos: So Lina's ability is to see far distances.  
  
C.G.: Gee, was that hard to figure out?  
  
Xellos: Horny teenage boys would kill for that kind of ability. "Wow, check the melons on that chick!" "Where?" "About 5 blocks down."  
  
C.G.: Hush, you!  
  
Luna: Lina, put your eye patch on!  
  
Lina: ::sobs:: But I have to watch the slug. it's after me.  
  
Luna: ::groan:: The sight in your right eye may be a curse to you but it is a blessing for me. I need you  
  
to help me with my revenge. Cheap bastards!  
  
Lina: Why?  
  
Luna: Just do it. We shall be a match for all the world!  
  
Lina: Will you squash the slug? ::sniff::  
  
Luna: . Yes. ::sigh:: It's a stupid slug.  
  
Xellos: And get off the dang roof!  
  
Lina: They did WHAT??? How dare they screw my sister's hard earned money! ::growls:: That is punishable by death! I am going to blast. uh. beat them black and blue and make them beg for mercy and.  
  
Luna: ::rolls eyes:: Yeah right, Lina. You'll take on a whole kingdom's army. ::giggle:: Your talent is not  
  
enough for my revenge. We must travel to find others to help.  
  
Lina: Whatever. But it means we got to pay them too. I'm going make the king so sorry, he'll be.  
  
Luna: ::sigh:: Lina, you're something else. You know that?  
  
C.G.: They travel for days until they enter the forest where suddenly a whole gang of bandits surrounds them.  
  
  
  
Lina: Ha! Bandits! Stand back, I'll blast. uh. oh shi..  
  
Luna: You were saying, Lina?  
  
Xellos: ::teasing:: She got the stupid power.  
  
C.G.: ::teasing:: Well, you got the stupid looking cone form.  
  
Xellos: ::growl:: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!!!!!!! It is not stupid looking!!!  
  
C.G.: How about I call Filia up on the phone and ask her?  
  
Xellos: ::heated:: Continue.  
  
Luna: I guess I have to take them on with my sword.  
  
Lina: ARE YOU NUTS?!?!?! Sis, there are too many of them for you! There are too many for the both of us to take on like that.  
  
Luna: I know. but.  
  
Lina: Now what?  
  
Luna: We have to fight them off.  
  
C.G.: The bandits were closing in on them when a young blond mercenary appears from out of nowhere.  
  
Bandit: Take care of him!  
  
C.G.: Luna could not believe her eyes at the amazing technique of the swordsman.  
  
Luna: He's moving so fast that I can't keep up with him. Those fast moves. they're dropping like flies.  
  
He's better than me, dammit! It is impossible for.!  
  
C.G.: Before Luna finishes her sentence, the bandits were down and the man was gone.  
  
Luna: Where'd he go?  
  
Lina: Beats me.  
  
Xellos: Canada?  
  
Luna: I must find him. That skill of his is incredible. He is faster than anyone or anything I know.  
  
Xellos: Too bad he doesn't work for the post office.  
  
Lina: It's too late and I'm hungry.  
  
Xellos: Big surprise.  
  
Lina: Lina, when are you not? ::sigh:: We'll search for him tomorrow.  
  
C.G.: As they enter the restaurant, they find the swordsman eating at one of the tables.  
  
Luna: This is a sign from the gods that he will follow me also.  
  
Lina: I could still kick the king's butt myself.  
  
Luna: Lina, shut up. Mercenary, my name is Luna Inverse.  
  
Gourry: Hi. My name is Gourry.  
  
Lina: I'm Lina. So what was your rush back there, buddy? We didn't get a chance to thank you about the bandits.  
  
Gourry: I couldn't stop.  
  
Lina: ?  
  
Luna: I was impressed by your skills back there. I never met someone who could probably beat me at swordplay before. I would like you to join me on my quest.  
  
Gourry: Quest?  
  
Lina: She got screwed out of some money.  
  
Gourry: Sure, I guess. I have nothing else better to do.  
  
Luna: Sir.  
  
Gourry: Gourry is fine.  
  
Luna: Why do you wear an iron boot?  
  
Xellos: It's the latest fashion, duhhhh.  
  
Gourry: This? Yeah, you see, if I don't wear it, I might be in the next town in a matter of minutes. I'm just too fast. People say I am faster than this bird.  
  
Xellos: Bird? . Bird. Hummingbird? . Oh.well duh, the Roadrunner!  
  
Luna: The next town is three miles away.  
  
Lina: That's fast.  
  
Gourry: I know. I can't stop myself. I hate being so fast.  
  
Luna: But being so fast is a wonderful gift. We three shall be a match for all the world!  
  
Lina: Give me the last bread roll! ::growl::  
  
Gourry: But you didn't pay for this!  
  
Lina: I don't care, a lady should get the last bread roll. ::groan:: dammit!  
  
Luna: ::sigh:: Maybe we three aren't enough yet. I'm surrounded by idiots.  
  
C.G.: Weeks pass as they search for more warriors.  
  
Lina: Luna, we're hungry.  
  
Luna: You two just ate!  
  
Lina: A whole two hours ago.  
  
Gourry: I need to sit down, this boot is killing me.  
  
Luna: ::groan:: Fine. We'll rest here. Big babies.  
  
Lina: How much longer must we travel, Luna?  
  
Luna: Stop whining.  
  
Lina: I'm tired! I want some action here.  
  
Luna: Gourry, Lina wants you to.  
  
Lina: ::blush:: SHUTUPYOUPERVSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPIDONOTLIKEHIM.  
  
Luna: ::rolls eyes:: Right, Lina, I believe you. You want to get into his pants so bad.  
  
Lina: ::growl:: DOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT!!!! SHUTUPSHUTUP.  
  
Gourry: Lina, look!  
  
Lina: Smoke. ::removes eye patch:: Over there! There's a cabin is on fire!  
  
Gourry: What cabin?  
  
Lina: About a mile that way!  
  
Gourry: Leave this to me!  
  
C.G.: Gourry takes off his boot, picks them both up, and speeds towards the blazing fire.  
  
Luna: Slow down, a little too fast! ::sweatdrop:: Too fast!  
  
Gourry: I told you that I can't stop until I get tired.  
  
Xellos: Yeah BABY!!!!  
  
Lina: WEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
Xellos: That's right, Lina. Wee!  
  
C.G.: Shut up!  
  
Luna: We have to find a way to stop the fire. If it spreads then all the fields will be torched!  
  
C.G.: They see a hooded man come from behind of the cabin. He takes off his mask and starts blowing towards the fire. The trees moved as through there was a windstorm and a windmill started to spin wildly. Pretty soon, the fire was out and the man put on his mask again.  
  
Luna: Incredible.  
  
Gourry: I'm impressed but I don't know why.  
  
C.G.: When they near the cabin, they find that it is covered in ice.  
  
Luna: Mister.uh.?  
  
Zel: Zelgadis. Don't need to thank me, I.  
  
Luna: How did you get such a power?  
  
Zel: I can because I'm a freak. My grandpa turned me into creature you see before you and this is why I have this power.  
  
Gourry: Wow, ice and wind breath!  
  
Xellos: Great talent for parties, no one wants warm beer. Just hope he doesn't blow it away.  
  
Zel: That is the reason I have to wear this. Now, excuse me, I have to go.  
  
Luna: Why?  
  
Zel: Why?!? Look at me!  
  
Luna: Join us! And us four shall be a match for all the world!  
  
Xellos: What's with all this cheesy dialogue?  
  
C.G.: You should know by now fairy tales have really cheesy dialogue!  
  
Luna: Because we're going to get even with royalty and get filthy rich, so much that you can pay people to look for you.  
  
Zel: Fine. It will make things much easier.  
  
Luna: Now we'll head to the kingdom where we will fight.  
  
Zel: This is so stupid, we not going to win against a whole army of soldiers with just the four of us! This is a lost cause.  
  
Xellos: Just like searching for your cure.  
  
Luna: ::sweatdrop:: Maybe we're not ready yet.  
  
Lina: Can we eat now?  
  
Luna: ::groan::  
  
C.G.: While searching for a restaurant, they travel near a forest and find a girl lifting a huge tree as  
  
if it weighed nothing.  
  
Luna: The gods are surly on my side.  
  
Gourry: I am also impressed by this for some reason.  
  
Lina: Gourry, is it because the girl is lifting a full-grown tree?  
  
Gourry: Maybe.  
  
Lina: ::groan::  
  
Luna: I would like to ask you to join us on my quest so I can get my revenge.uh. what is your name?  
  
Amelia: Amelia. I wish I could help you on your justice quest thingy but I need to earn money. My strength destroyed a big chunk of our castle and daddy is mad at me. I have to uproot trees to pay for the damages.  
  
Luna: You should not waste your talent on this. Join me. If my plan works, you all should become very rich. Then we can fight our enemies and gain what is ours.  
  
Amelia: Yes, will become the fighters of justice! Any evil that comes in our path shall be crushed with out love of justice and we will.  
  
All: Bye.  
  
Amelia: ::sweatdrop:: Wait for me!  
  
C.G.: So now, the five comrades travel together for months towards the kingdom.  
  
Xellos: I get the feeling it's Zoana, right?  
  
C.G.: Yes.  
  
Luna: ::sigh:: I got a bunch of morons for my army. Oh well, use what I got, right?  
  
Zel: Let's get our butts kicked.  
  
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis! We can do anything we put our minds to! Stop being so negative!  
  
Luna: We're here! I just need to think of a plan.  
  
Lina: Finally! I'm starving! Let's go for the food! Come on, Gourry.  
  
Gourry: Yeah.  
  
Lina: Food, food, FOOD!!!! THIS WAYYYY EVERYONE!!!!  
  
Amelia: Great! Hurry up, Mr. Zelgadis.  
  
Zel: I will.  
  
Luna: HEY GET BACK HERE!!!!! ::groan:: I am the leader, not Lina. I am the leader.  
  
C.G.: As they look for somewhere to eat, they notice a huge amount of people heading towards the center of the kingdom.  
  
Lina: What's going on here? Is it a festival?  
  
Gourry: But where are all the hotdog stands?  
  
Lina: Good point.  
  
Amelia: Yeah, and there are no decorations or parades at all.  
  
Lina: Well, let's go find out, shall we? Follow me!  
  
ALL: Right.  
  
Luna: from behind I am the leader! Me! ::groan:: This is my battle.  
  
C.G.: When they follow the villagers, they realize it is an execution.  
  
Xellos: Yes! Finally! A cool part!  
  
Lina: I can't watch this. I'll get sick.  
  
Zel: I should have known.  
  
Amelia: Let's get out of here. I can't watch this.  
  
Gourry: ::point:: Is that the guy they're beheading?  
  
Lina: Huh? ::sweatdrop:: Uhhhhhh.  
  
Zel: ::sweatdrop::  
  
Luna: I am the leader. I am.  
  
Lina: Luna, snap out of it!  
  
Luna: Huh?  
  
Lina: Don't you notice what's going on here? taps nearby villager Sir, what's going on? Who is that that they're leading to.?  
  
Zel: We know it's an execution but.  
  
Amelia: He doesn't look the type.  
  
Lina: He looks like a complete wuss, not a criminal.  
  
Villager: He is not a criminal.  
  
Amelia: Then why.?  
  
Villager: You see, about every two weeks there is a race here for the princesses hand in marriage. The  
  
only way one can marry the princess is to beat her at a race. The princess the fastest in all the land, no  
  
one has beat her yet. So now, young boys get chosen at random. If the person wins, he gets the princess and  
  
the land. But if the person loses. you know. Poor Hallas.  
  
Hallas: ::cries:: THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!  
  
Amelia: ::growls:: But.  
  
Zel: Amelia.  
  
Amelia: This is unacceptable.  
  
Zel: ::sweatdrop:: Amelia.  
  
Hallas: ::cries:: It wasn't my fault! I tried my best! You could tell I'm not a runner, look at me! Please.  
  
This isn't fair. I was forced! ::sweatdrop:: Please show some mercy, I beg.  
  
Hallas' mom: Don't worry, I'll get you out of this. Then you can marry this girl I just met.  
  
Paula: Hi.  
  
Hallas: ::cries:: Kill me! Kill me! Chop off my head!!! Show some mercy!!! Kill me now.  
  
WHACK  
  
Xellos: Oh no.you killed off Hallas! Hallas!  
  
Amelia: rages THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!! stands on pole UNJUST!!!! HOW DARE THEY MURDER INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR LOSING A STUPID RACE!!!!NOBODY SHOULD BE FORCED TO DO THIS AGAINST THEIR WILL!!!!! I SHALL STOP THIS MADNESS AND CRUSH THE EVILS WITH MY HAMMER OF JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!! I SHALL SHOW THESE VILLAINS NO MERCY FOR DOING SUCH IMMORAL THINGS!!!! I WILL STRIKE.  
  
Zel: ::sweatdrop:: Please, please get down from the pole. Please?  
  
Lina: I'm going to throw up.  
  
Luna: ::sweatdrop:: Amelia, please get down from the pole! ::sigh:: *Morons* We will stop this, but we  
  
cannot lose our heads in the process. Oops. ::sweatdrop:: I mean, we should keep our cool.  
  
C.G.: Lina throws up.  
  
Zel: And just what are you planning to do about this?  
  
Luna: Uh. For one thing, we will make an arrangement with the princess to have another race. ::smiles::  
  
Amelia: Another race? But.  
  
Luna: Lina! You, Gourry, and Amelia find a place to stay for the night.  
  
Lina: I. don't want to eat now.  
  
Xellos: That's a first.  
  
Luna: Go! Zelgadis, you come with me.  
  
Zel: Huh?  
  
Luna: Just in case, you shall be my bodyguard while I'm making the arrangements. Oh I'm good. ::laughs::  
  
Zel: You're scaring me.  
  
Luna: So the princess think she is the fastest runner in all the land, does she? Heh.  
  
Zel: Just don't tell me. ::sweatdrop::  
  
C.G.: The princess was surprised that someone is actually challenging her but the conditions were agreed upon and everything was set.  
  
Martina: No one has challenged me to a race in so long.  
  
Luna: Yes, but I truly want your hand in marriage.  
  
Zel ::SWEATDROP::  
  
Xellos: Yea! Heh, heh.  
  
Martina: What? ::blush::  
  
Luna: Gazing upon your beauty. I want you so badly. I have never seen such beauty in all my life. I need  
  
you! I would race you myself but I pulled a muscle. So that's why my servant, who is not here right now, will run for me. You will meet him later.  
  
Martina: ::sweatdrop:: You know if he loses, your head also goes.  
  
Luna: I know perfectly well, my love. kisses her hand I will see you in a week. Too long for me.  
  
Martina: ::blush:: Uh.  
  
C.G.: As they leave.  
  
Zel: Luna.  
  
Luna: Don't worry. I was kidding. Just wanted to see her reaction.  
  
Xellos: Damn, I wanted to watch!  
  
C.G.: That night, Luna told them of her plan.  
  
Lina: WHATTTTTTTT??? ::growls:: HOW DARE YOU???? How dare you do that without consulting me first?  
  
Luna: Why should I consult you first?  
  
Lina: Because.I. ::blush:: Because, Gourry's not marrying that broad!  
  
Xellos: I am!  
  
Gourry: I'M GETTING MARRIED???? ::sweatdrop::  
  
Luna: Do not worry, I will be the one that marries the princess.  
  
All: ::SWEATDROP::  
  
Luna: As a joke and a punishment for not paying me. I will make her life a total hell.  
  
Amelia: What's going to happen?  
  
Luna: It's a simple course, I believe. Run to the distant spring and back to the kingdom. All the racers  
  
have to do is fill a pitcher with water from the spring so everyone will know you actually went there.  
  
Lina: No problem. This will be easy.  
  
Luna: I'm glad Gourry got such a good manager.  
  
Lina: ::blush:: The food's here!  
  
C.G.: A week later, the town sets up for another race and the villagers gather around.  
  
Martina: Is that the guy I'm racing?  
  
Moros: I believe so.  
  
Martina: ::blush:: He's so cute. Oooo. ::groans:: I can't believe she wants to marry me.  
  
Moros: Martina.  
  
Martina: Father, she seems so sure that her servant is going to win. Look at her!  
  
Moros: Don't worry, Martina. It's intimidation.  
  
Luna: waves Hi there, sweetie! blows kiss 3  
  
Xellos: I love your outfit!  
  
Martina: whines Father.  
  
Lina: Ha! Don't win the race to quickly, Gourry. The race shouldn't be over in five minutes.  
  
Gourry: Sure thing.  
  
Lina: How about you give her a little head start too? Just to be a little fair?  
  
Gourry: Most of the race takes place in that forest way over there. Do you think I will get lost?  
  
Lina: You shouldn't but I'll check. climbs up on roof and takes off eye patch Nah. the path is perfectly  
  
clear.except for some branhes. Watch out for those. But besides that. Gourry?  
  
Gourry: What?  
  
Lina: Tell Luna, I'll be back.  
  
Gourry: Where are you going?  
  
Xellos: To the little girls' room.  
  
Lina: Just tell her I'll be back. I'll still be watching the race and watch you win of course.  
  
Gourry: Ok.  
  
Zel: Where is she going?  
  
Gourry: Have no clue.  
  
Amelia: Maybe she trying to give her one eye a break by watching from a near-by town of something. So are you ready?  
  
Gourry: Yeah, just don't forgot to toss me my boot when I cross the finish line.  
  
Luna: ::points:: Gourry, come on over here and win me that nice piece of ass! winks  
  
Martina: ::cries:: FATHER.  
  
Moros: ::sweatdrop:: Let's start this thing, shall we?  
  
Martina: ::sweatdrop:: Sure.  
  
Moros: Take your places!  
  
Luna: Here is your pitcher. Don't forget to fill it when you get there.  
  
Gourry: I won't.  
  
Moros: Really. GO!!!!!!  
  
C.G.: The princess starts running and Gourry just stands there.  
  
Moros: What are you doing????  
  
Xellos: My shoe is untied, I should have checked before this.  
  
Gourry: Just a second.  
  
Moros: Don't you care about what will happen when you lose?  
  
Xellos: It's not like he'd be losing that much anyway.  
  
Gourry: Wait.  
  
Moros: But.  
  
Gourry: Should I go now?  
  
Amelia: Uh. no.  
  
Zel: I'll tell you.  
  
Moros: Are you people mad?  
  
Zel: I think you should go now.  
  
Gourry: Really?  
  
Zel: Yeah.  
  
Gourry: All right.  
  
C.G.: Martina looks back and sees him quickly catching up.  
  
Martina: Impossible! How could he.  
  
C.G.: By this time, he zooms past her.  
  
Xellos: Eat my dust, bitch!  
  
Martina: ::sweatdrop:: How could he? I can't even see him anymore. They tricked me!  
  
C.G.: In no time at all, Gourry was at the spring. Unfortunately, he didn't stop in time.  
  
SPLASH  
  
Gourry: Good thing this water is here or I would have kept going. Hey, the pitcher filled itself!  
  
Lady: Hello, sir.  
  
Gourry: Where did you come from?  
  
Lady: I was hired to stay here and make sure the runners aren't cheating.  
  
Gourry: Oh.  
  
Lady: I hope you win.  
  
Gourry: Thanks.  
  
Lady: Are you tired?  
  
Gourry: No.  
  
Lady: You look thirsty, here.  
  
Gourry: Huh? Oh thanks.  
  
Xellos: Don't do it! It's another mickey!  
  
Lady: You should be on your way now.  
  
Gourry: Bye.  
  
Lady: Oh yeah, that'll be 25 pieces.  
  
Gourry: WHAT???  
  
Xellos: Oh that Nanami. I don't care what she says, she is just as big of a crook as her brother.  
  
C.G.: With that, Gourry heads back. But minutes later.  
  
Gourry: Gee. maybe I am tired yawn I think I'll try to stop and sit here and. trips and falls on face Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.  
  
C.G.: About ten minutes later, Martina catches up.  
  
Martina: breathing heavily I can't believe this guy. ::cough:: How could he run.so fast? Huh? Oh thanks, father! I was really worried for a moment.  
  
C.G.: Martina swipes his pitcher and sets hers down.  
  
Martina: Now don't need to run to the spring! ::laughs:: See you at the finish line. runs off  
  
Xellos: Uh no. What's going to happen?  
  
C.G.: Now, all would have been lost if by a great fortune a certain someone has not been sitting on a roof before the race started.  
  
Lina: ::sweatdrop:: I knew it. I was wondering why there was a girl in the middle of the woods. Right by  
  
the spring too. It would have worked too but there's no way I'm letting her win this. Gourry, get up.  
  
GOURRY!!!!  
  
WHACK WHACK WHACK  
  
Gourry: blinks What?  
  
Lina: Dammit, Gourry! How could you fall for something like this?  
  
Gourry: She looked like a nice girl but then she made me pay her.  
  
Lina: I meant about the drugged drink.  
  
Gourry: I want my money back!  
  
Lina: We'll find her later, Gourry. The princess switched pitchers with you. You got to go to the spring again.  
  
Gourry: Where is she now?  
  
Lina: She's pretty far ahead of you, Gourry.  
  
Gourry: It'll be no problem catching up to her.  
  
Xellos: Now that I think about it, we can have a quickie and I'll still catch up! We're alone here in  
  
these woods so there's nothing to worry about. Heh, heh.  
  
C.G.: Knock it off! So Gourry runs back swiftly to the spring, fills the pitcher again, and heads towards the finish line passing Martina.  
  
Martina: Wha.? NO! How could he?  
  
C.G.: Gourry finishes the race ten minutes for Martina.and keeps going and going and going.  
  
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis? Didn't Mr. Gourry tell us to do something after he crossed the finish line?  
  
Zel: ::sweatdrop:: Oops.  
  
Amelia: ::sweatdrop:: Oh shoot! Come on, Mr. Zelgadis. We got to find him.  
  
Zel: ::sigh:: Let's go.  
  
C.G.: The beaten Martina can barely even keep going. Unfortunately for Martina, her "lover" is there to help.  
  
Luna: I know that it was true love that made me win you! ::giggle::  
  
Martina: heavily breathing No. it's because he was.so.damned.fast. ::cough::  
  
Luna: Awwww. Come over here so I can help you feel better.  
  
Martina: ::sweatdrop:: No I.  
  
C.G.: Luna grabs her from behind, playfully squeezing her chest.  
  
Luna: Oooo, Martina baby. We'll be such a wonderful couple. ::giggle:: I can't wait to marry such a  
  
wonderful girl and rule the kingdom of Zoana! ::squeal:: Isn't that great, my dear? 3 We'll live happily ever after for the rest of our lives.  
  
Martina: ::cries:: FATHER.  
  
Luna: Don't worry, you'll always be my little queen! 3  
  
Martina: FAAAAATTTTTHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!  
  
C.G.: Later that day, Luna and her group are brought before the court. Even before the whole court, Luna continues to show her "affection" by touching, grabbing, and pinching Martina followed by the snickers of Luna's posse.  
  
Xellos: She's acting like that skank Fatora!  
  
Martina: thinking I should've let the scrawny guy win. ::sobs::  
  
Moros: Uh, Luna is it?  
  
Luna: What's up, dad? 3  
  
Moros: ::cries:: Please, I beg you! Martina is my only daughter and there's no one else to take the throne.  
  
Luna: I know exactly what you mean. Don't worry about  
  
that. I have it all taken care of.  
  
Moros: You did?  
  
Luna: Yea. puts arms around Gourry and Zel I'm going to let these two bang her once every week.  
  
Moros: WHAT?????  
  
Martina: ::cries:: You're not serious, are you?  
  
Luna: I know they don't look the type but I bet after a few tequilas, you'll be in for one wild ride. so  
  
brace yourself! ::laughs:: So you really don't have to worry about this at all, dad! They'll knock her up  
  
in no time. Soon you'll have grandkids running all over the place. I'm hoping for at least 9.  
  
Xellos: Damn, Luna's having lots fun with this revenge thing.  
  
Luna: And to make sure there are no favorites, they have to screw her at the same time. And this is certainly not fair for my other two servants so they get to screw her also! ::laughs:: Mega-orgy!  
  
Xellos: Mega-orgy!?! Can I screw her too? Everyone else gets to do it!  
  
C.G.: Lina and Amelia could hardly keep themselves from laughing, Zelgadis was a little embarrassed, and  
  
Gourry was wondering what screws have to do with having kids. Luna is pleased with how her revenge is  
  
going. The king and the court would not have these people ruling the kingdom. Soon they came up with a way to end this insanity.  
  
Xellos: But the insanity is so fun.  
  
C.G.: Luna and the others were led to a room with a huge of table of food.  
  
King: You may eat and celebrate your victory in here. My daughter shall join you later.  
  
Luna: Thanks, pops!  
  
C.G.: Of course, Lina and Gourry were already at the table stuffing their faces.  
  
Luna: ::sweatdrop:: We better go eat then.  
  
Xellos: People in fairy tales are so stupid. Thought I'd let you know.  
  
C.G.: Right after they enter, the doors were locked and bolted. Then the princess makes orders to start a  
  
great fire underneath the room. A little later.  
  
Gourry: ::sweating:: It's hot in here.  
  
Zel: Luna.  
  
Luna: Yes.  
  
Zel: Don't you think this room is sort of funny looking?  
  
Luna: Explain.  
  
Zel: For one thing, they locked the door. Two, this whole room is iron. Three, the windows are barred. And  
  
four, the decorating in this room is just plain awful.  
  
Xellos: He took my line!  
  
Gourry: It's really getting hot in here.  
  
Lina: puts her hand against the wall OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! ::cries:: My hand!  
  
Amelia: The floor is steaming. They're trying to suffocate us with the heat!  
  
Lina: This is just great. This place is an oven!  
  
Gourry: They're cannibals?!?!?!?  
  
Lina: ::sigh:: Not now, Gourry.  
  
Luna: ::sweatdrop:: Ok, so maybe I went a little too far with the butt grabbing. But hey, let's not panic.  
  
ALL: ::cries: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.  
  
Luna: I told you guys not to lose your heads.  
  
C.G.: Lina throws up again.  
  
Luna: ::groan:: Aren't we forgetting something? Zelgadis!  
  
Amelia: That's right. Mr. Zelgadis could cool this place down.  
  
Xellos: Then we can all freeze to death. Yay!  
  
Zel: Watch yourselves. I shouldn't be doing this in such a small room.  
  
C.G.: The king and the princess heard screaming throughout the hallways.  
  
Xellos: OH MY GOD, WE'RE IN TWISTER II!!!!!!  
  
C.G.: They were sure they have gotten rid of their little problem until a few moments later the screaming stopped followed by groaning.  
  
Martina: What? That's funny.  
  
C.G.: When the open the door, the room looked as through it was hit by a windstorm. Not only that, the  
  
room was extremely cold and there was frost all over everything.  
  
Martina: thinking This place should have been extremely hot right now, not freezing! It's warm  
  
outside for crying-out-loud!  
  
Lina: DAMMIT, ZEL!! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THE FOOD!!!!!  
  
WHACK PUNCH KICK  
  
Zel: ::cries:: STOP IT!!! OWWWW!!!!  
  
Xellos: Now that is punishable by death. Off with his head!  
  
Lina: ::growl:: Not only did you knock all the food to the ground, you froze it so I can't even eat it!  
  
Zel: OWWWWW. Should get the others? I think they're underneath all the furniture.  
  
Lina: Right, right. I'll kick your ass later.  
  
C.G.: Luna digs herself out of the pile of furniture and playfully chases her "love" down the hallway.  
  
Luna: WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MY LOVE????? I was so worried.  
  
C.G.: That night, the king tries to negotiate with Luna, but she was so in "in love" that she refuses all  
  
the offers. The king gives up for the night and Luna enters her and Lina's room.  
  
Lina: OH! ::sweatdrop:: Hi Luna.  
  
Luna: Geez, these people are so much fun to annoy. I love playing with Martina's head.  
  
Lina: Get.anything?  
  
Luna: Not enough yet. Their offers are not enough. They'll crack pretty soon. Hey? What with the all frosting?  
  
Lina: Oh, that. I'm just hungry.  
  
Luna: But there are tons of containers?  
  
Lina: I really like frosting.  
  
Luna: Whatever, Lina.  
  
Luna: Fine. ::sits on the bed::  
  
::faint groan::  
  
Luna: What was that?  
  
Lina: ::sweatdrop:: IT'S THE CAT! Luna?  
  
Luna: Yes?  
  
Lina: We're getting pretty annoyed here. If we stay any longer, we all end up dead. Considering what they  
  
did to us today, they'll probably try to kill us in our sleep. We want to leave!  
  
Luna: Don't worry. I know, I'll sneak into Martina's room for a late night surprise. I know they'll give me  
  
want I want soon. But this is so much fun! And you four shouldn't be worrying as much, that's why I told you guys to use the "buddy system". Where's Amelia?  
  
Lina: She.should be coming. You better get going now.  
  
Luna: Fine. ::climbs out the window:: I know where her room is. I don't know how long I will be. Bye.  
  
Lina: Bye.  
  
Luna: Oh, Lina?  
  
Lina: Yes?  
  
Luna: Enjoy the frosting.  
  
Lina: ::blush:: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP.  
  
C.G.: So, Luna sneaks into Martina's bedroom where she does the typical "skank Fatora thing" until she gets kicked out.  
  
Luna: Oh, come on! We don't have to wait until the honeymoon! If that is your wish, my love, I shall  
  
depart. ::walks down hallway:: This is so great. Tee hee. Hey, Lina! Hope you're enjoying the frosting in there.  
  
Lina: ::BLUSH:: SHUT UP!!!!!  
  
Luna: Tee hee. I guess, I go buddy with Amelia then. ""goes and grabs doorknob which is freezing cold::  
  
Nevermind. I think they took the phrase "buddy system" the wrong way. Oh well.  
  
Xellos: Yeah, Zelgadis. Working his magic.  
  
C.G.: After that night, Martina cannot take her "lover" and her "affection" anymore. The next morning,  
  
the Martina and the king beg that they would do anything to get her out of the house.  
  
Luna: I am getting the feeling the love of my life does not truly love me. ::fake sob:: Oh, my heart is  
  
broken and I shall never recover. ::servants snicker and giggle:: I feel that I cannot go on in life now. But I  
  
see this union was not meant to be. I will agree not to marry you on one condition.  
  
Martina: ::cries:: Anything, just GO AWAY!!!!!  
  
Luna: You will allow me to take as much gold and treasure as my one servant can carry.  
  
Moros: Which servant?  
  
Luna: ::points:: That little brunette.  
  
C.G.: This pleased the king and his daughter for she was the smallest one and assumed that she could not carry all that much.  
  
Xellos: To assume is bad because it makes an ass out of u and me.  
  
Luna: Very well. My servants and I will be back in three days to claim the treasure.  
  
C.G.: Luna and the others celebrate by having a huge dinner.  
  
Luna: ::laughs:: Did you see their faces?  
  
Zel: You did put on a good show.  
  
Lina: It was great watching them beg for mercy. ::laugh::  
  
Luna: I know you are strong, Amelia, but I want you to train a little.  
  
Amelia: I will. Too bad I didn't bring barbells.  
  
Zel: How about use a tree?  
  
Amelia: I'm not killing a tree that will just go to waste.  
  
Zel: Then what are you going to use then? Huh? . ::sweatdrop:: HEY!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!  
  
Amelia: You're lighter than I thought. Oh well, I can use you for warm-up, Mr. Zelgadis.  
  
Zel PUT ME DOWN!!!!  
  
C.G.: In the morning, Luna orders an extra, extra, extra, extra large sack to be made for them and it is  
  
finished in time to return to the castle. They are brought into the treasure room.  
  
Moros: You can take all you can carry. Then leave.  
  
Martina: Far away from here too!  
  
C.G.: Amelia wastes no time filling the sack and lifting it above her head every once in a while to check.  
  
Amelia: No, this is still very light. I have to put more in.  
  
C.G.: The king and his daughter's jaws drop when they see that the servant could carry the huge load.  
  
Amelia: I could still carry more but I know your kingdom needs the rest. You will gain it back over  
  
time. Let's go.  
  
C.G.: While laughing and snickering, Luna and the other go and leave the kingdom.  
  
Martina: How dare they take all that treasure! SEND OUR ARMY TO ATTACK!!!!  
  
Moros: Martina, they left enough.  
  
Martina: FATHER, SHUT UP!!!!!!  
  
Moros: Yes, dear.  
  
C.G.: Somewhere, outside the kingdom.  
  
Luna: Now this is what I call payment.  
  
Lina: Let's go eat!  
  
Gourry: Yeah.  
  
Luna: Do you two have to eat 24/7?  
  
Lina: What the. The cavalry is coming.  
  
Gourry: Huh?  
  
Luna: I knew it.  
  
Zel: Now what?  
  
Lina: Well. We're going to kick their asses! I'm going to blast. uhhhh. slash them to bits with my sword!  
  
Luna: I am the leader. I am the leader.  
  
Lina: Snap out of it!  
  
C.G.: As soon as the army arrived, the five were ready for battle. As Lina, Luna, and Gourry took them on with swords, Amelia used Pacifist Crush while Zelgadis merely blew them away over mountain ranges. The king and his daughter soon heard of the defeat.  
  
Martina: HOW DARE THEY???? Now we'll.  
  
Moros: Just forget it, Martina. You don't want to lose everything, do you?  
  
C.G.: And so, the five split the money and lived happily ever after. The end.  
  
Xellos: And what was this fairy tale called?  
  
C.G.: It has a lot of names but the one title I found was called "The Six Comrades".  
  
Xellos: One, two, three, four, FIVE. One, two, three, four, FIVE.  
  
C.G.: SHUT UP!!!! It has another name. I had the merge two parts into one b/c I couldn't add anybody else. There is no bald guy to fit that part.  
  
Xellos: One, two, three, four, FIVE.  
  
C.G.: ::growl:: The Nickelodeon fairy tale show only has four of them!  
  
Xellos: One, two, three, four, FIVE.  
  
C.G.: Oh, go back home to your display case!!!! 


End file.
